If Poster Boy was not a manager...

I was a dejected little kid who people would mock. They’d call me Rudolph. I didn’t even have a red nose. I had this beautifully crafted elegant nose, a tad longer than Cinderella’s and a tad shorter that Pinocchio’s. I also had a very fashionable green tie. My grandpa’s friend’s live in girlfriend had gifted it to him. I would delve into the depths of my endless wisdom to find an explanation for my befuddling unpopularity. Eureka! The bulb clicked, the divine light fell, and Nirvana was attained. I joined Salsa classes. I was a failure no more! I became a Rock Star. I got a hilltop house and fifteen cars. I made Square-pants passé. And most importantly, I played Cullen to my Damsel in distress. Joy to the world!